Friday, May 4, 2012

Wedding Warning

If Brangie ties the knot before gay marriage is legalized federally, there's gonna be alotta bitter LGBTQ cater waiters with access to the Moet.

If I were George, I'd B.Y.O.Dom P.

Passe Newsletter

Now that we have Facebook, let's place a moratorium on e-newsletters.

I'm already avoiding you in my newsfeed, Beverly Hills Tennis Club.

Spray Me Jealous

Was having a good self-esteem day...

Until Givenchy mailed a reminder Justin Timberlake looks better than I, smells better than I, and drives a better car than I.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Passe Bumper

Now that we have Facebook, let's put a moratorium on bumper stickers.

Anybody who remotely likes you already knows what you "like."

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Housesitter (Part 1)

Housesitting makes me reflect on all the things I don't have:

A dishwasher.

A sectional sofa.

A house.

Housesitter (Part 2)

This weekend I house sat for a friend.


Movies make housesitting appear to be an opportunity to meet men. In reality, it's an opportunity to watch said films on a plasma HD.

HBO Handicapped

The bottom line is...if The Hand That Rocks The Cradle is on HBO, I'm calling you to reschedule.