Friday, April 15, 2011

HBD Not Okay With Me

To the person who posted this on my friend's wall.


If you're too busy to spell out 'Happy Birthday,' next year treat my friend with dignity and keep your truncations to yourself. If you decide to repeat this offense, please note the abbreviation should only be two letters.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Postcards From the Hot Tub


On Monday, Shirley MacLaine regaled Oprah with tales of celebrity, sex, and UFOs that hover above her Taos ranch hot tub.

If these are the side effects of acting alongside Meryl Streep, sign me up.

God of Carnage, Indeed


Last night I stood next to Tony Soprano in an elevator. We were ascending to the premiere party for his play, which for some reason he was allowed into and I was rejected from.

At first I felt honored, but by floor three my Method skills took hold, the elevator became the New Jersey Turnpike, and my name became Adriana.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Watch It!

Queen Kate has stumbled off her throne...


And into a high end watch advertisement. Kate Winslet, you are an Oscar winner, not 007.


This is a bigger misstep than The Holiday.

Monday, April 11, 2011

F.I.L.F


Thank you, Vanity Fair, for finally supplying your readers with something we can use. Robert Pattinson can't hold a bicep to this father of two.


Makes me wanna light candles and watch Wayne's World.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Call Me Rajah Of Cricket


When India beat neighbor Pakistan in the 2011 Word Cup of Cricket, I wrote my one Indian facebook friend to offer congrats.


I quickly became embroiled in a facebook messaging chain with half the population of Mumbai.


The good news, I learned a lot of Indian names. The bad news, somewhere in Pakistan I'm officially on a terrorists' hit list.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Bittersweet Beach


In 1990 my life changed when I saw the movie Beaches for the first time. I promised myself that one day I'd visit the Beaches beach house, and yesterday my dream came true.


Sort of.

Crystal Cove Conservation is busy restoring Barbara's death cottage.


The soundtrack in my head quickly switched from Wind Beneath My Wings to Baby Mine, Don't You Cry.