Showing posts with label Scary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Scary. Show all posts

Monday, October 14, 2013


The government shutdown is stressful, but it's nothing compared to the imminent apocalypse of iGoogle. 

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Driving Miss Honey Boo Boo


This stage mom's more concerned with clear driving records than government issued background checks. Hasn't she seen Changeling?

Sunday, January 6, 2013

When Clinique SPF 15 Isn't Enough

Dear Romaniacs,

Since December 2nd I've suffered an ingrown hair on my neck. I have to apply foundation from a sample in O Magazine just to venture to Trader Joe's. Of course, this sample is for a black woman and does my skin little favors. This is not my usual shtick. This is serious. I'm starting to feel like a patient in And The Band Played On. Somebody help me.



Zero Dark Thirty-One

The bad news is AARP's targeting me.

The good news is I win this free tote to hold my medication.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Creepy Single Men Unite

Want to know who the sexual offenders are in your neighborhood? Attend the midnight showing of this movie.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Too Christian For Me


I'm all for S & M, but even E.L. James would call this overkill.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Friday, July 27, 2012

One Eyed Monsters

If attending the opening ceremonies, don't leave your children alone with these mascots.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Applaud, or Else...

If I were Neil Patrick Harris, I'd mind my ears at next year's Tonys.

Friday, May 18, 2012

The Alias Next Door

The titles of the wireless accounts in my vicinity make me happy to not know my neighbors.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Mein Locks

After my last trip to the salon, a co-worker started calling me Adolf.

Is he mocking me, or did Hitler have good hair?

*pardon the offensively collegiate refrigerator in the background.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Amen, Sister

My feelings exactly, and I'm a thirty year old male.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Saturday, March 3, 2012

SNL Affirmations

LinsLo has unwittingly begun using quotes from J.Ro's journal.

This either means she's turning normal, or I'm turning crazy; my money's on the latter.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Mercado Madness

The economy is so bad, even the 99 cent store had to lower prices.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Alvin a la Turka

It feels fair knowing nobody in the world was spared this imbroglio.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Polis Posers

In Istanbul...

They sell fake cop uniforms and real firearms, next door to each other.

I promptly bought a burqa to hide my blonde ambitions.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Crazy Love

Just flixed Blue Valentine.

It's about two lovers who appear to be severely mentally handicapped. The performances put The Other Sister to shame.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

In Da Club

What did you do last night? Does Benihana now come equipped with bottle service and strippers?

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

2012 (Part 1)

The return of Celebrity Apprentice has me wondering if these 2012 predictions hold some weight?