Showing posts with label Not Approved / 323 Antics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Not Approved / 323 Antics. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Fresh Squeezed Scam

On Monday I made my virgin voyage to the ever cool M Cafe on Melrose; all my ever cool friends have raved about it for aeons. And just when I was starting to bathe in the ever coolness of it all...

They tried to charge me six dollars and seventy five cents for fresh squeezed watermelon juice; it didn't even contain alcohol.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

My Red Lobster Card

After last month's post titled Legally Attractive, many Romaniacs have asked if I succeeded in obtaining a studly license picture.

To insure my success, I partook in a lil' sunbathing pre-shoot. But I forgot California license cameras come with some sort of tanning mechanism, so people who shoot in late February look fantastic, but in early September...

...people look fresh out of a chemical peel. My identity has been lobstered, and I must carry this face o crimson shame for the next five years.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

There Goes the Bullseye

I thought things hit rock bottom when this Creature stabbed countless customers at the West Hollywood Gateway Target a few months ago.

But that was only the tip of the blade, now they've re-organized the shelves. The electronics department is unrecognizable; It took me two minutes to figure out where the five dollar DVDs were.

Someone upstairs is testing my allegiance.

(Luckily no one died in the stabbings, I'm sure Target gave the victims gift card privileges large enough to heal any emotional trauma endured. The Creature pleaded not guilty.)