Showing posts with label Not Approved. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Not Approved. Show all posts

Friday, January 25, 2013

Escape From Tehran


Can Alaska Airlines modernize this font? It's like we're in the final scene of Argo.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Zero Dark Thirty-One

The bad news is AARP's targeting me.


The good news is I win this free tote to hold my medication.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Vote No On Prop Pin


Will candidates stop wearing American flag pins? You're running for president, isn't that patriotic enough?

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Eat Mor Alpaca


I don't usually boycott countries, but when they adopt Chick-fil-A font, there must be consequences.

Skinny Belt

The only girl who could wear this belt without appearing desperate is Emma Stone.


Hopefully she'd wear it without the camel toe.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Angels I Think Not


In a bizarre case of gender misidentity, Victoria's Secret sent me a ten dollar coupon for my birthday.


This is offensive. My birthday isn't for three weeks. No thirty year old woman likes to be preemptively reminded she's turning a year older.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

More Acting Like You Care Required

Facebook is now posting reminders of wedding anniversaries along with birthdays.


If I'd known they were going to do this, I never would have went to middle school.

P.S. Happy anniversary Mandy; sorry I'm seven days late!

Friday, July 27, 2012

Cut It With The Cute Stationery


It's bad enough when people tell you to keep calm, but now we gotta hear it from our journals?

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Google The Phrase Cray Cray


This boycott allows The American Family Association to acquire even less knowledge about the present day world than they already have.

Evil Twin


First he humiliates Maria, now he's out to embarrass Danny DeVito.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Heinz Sponsored Holiday

According to Twitter trends, today is National French Fry Day.


How is this different than every other day in America?

Chamber Bugs


Today I witnessed these mattresses being smuggled out of The Chamberlain Hotel in West Hollywood.


If you've lodged at this establishment any time within the past ten years, call 310.657.7400 to request a refund and vaccine.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

No Envelope Necessary


Blue Cross would save postage if they'd create a postcard that reads We're charging you more.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Card Her


Is this girl old enough to be handling bananas in such a manner?

Monday, June 25, 2012

Mario Batali Better Send a Card


The fact Crocs is celebrating 10 years should make any failed business owner feel even worse about himself.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Segregate The Bookshelves

I usually don't condone capital punishment...


But whoever placed Kendra's book next to Fareed Zakaria's at this bookstore should be executed, or worse, forced to read her memoir.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Madagascar Lane


Dear Dreamworks PR Team,

Driving behind these characters in rush hour traffic does not make a moviegoer think fondly of them. 

Sincerely,

1998 Gold Chrysler Convertible

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Gosling Handwriting



Drive woulda been cooler if it hadn't employed Lucida Handwriting.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Juicy Sins


This book takes sacrilege to a whole new level.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Caddyshack 3

Just when we thought golf attire couldn't get any worse.