Showing posts with label Jealous. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jealous. Show all posts

Friday, January 25, 2013

Tattle Tale Triumph


If I had thirty months of free rent, I'd get so much writing done.

Burn Book


I'm still angry she beat me out for that role.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Shaken & Stirred

Daniel Craig's body in the 007 Skyfall trailer left me questioning my validity as a man.


But it was worth every morsel of insecurity.

Friday, July 13, 2012

If Over Twenty Nine, Do Not Read



This article does wonders for any thirty year old suffering bloated confidence.

 

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Friends of Fletcher

Pardon the break, been busy revisiting Murder, She Wrote on Netflix. Is it wrong to be jealous of a 70 year old woman's social calendar?


If Jessica Fletcher were on Facebook, she'd be at 5,000 friends. Though all 5,000 would eventually suffer brutal deaths, she'd have no troubles finding replacements...all of whom own charming vacation properties.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Blue Comics, Poison Ivy


The animosity I feel regarding the attention bestowed upon Blue Ivy reaffirms my choice of career path.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Weekend At Kilimanjaro's


In this month's AAA Westways Magazine, 80's heartthrob Andrew McCarthy writes about hiking Kilimanjaro.


No word on if Bernie reached the summit.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Rogaine Riches


These brothers should be spokesmen for a hair club, or at least have their own line of putty.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Hilary Faulkner

Hilary Duff is officially a published author, and all I have is this blog.


I hope the ghost writer made a lot of spelling errors.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Tokyo Police Club

Japan is so safe, they can still fit their killers on Most Wanted posters.


In the States, we have whole websites dedicated to each category of criminal.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Kardashian: 1 / Romaine: 0


Thanks to her E! media deal, over the weekend Kimmy K married to the tune of 2.2 million, while I served steak to the tune of 22 percent tip. Does Wal*Mart sell ammunition to accompany it's firearms?


P.S. Her groom's looking a little too White Party, if you get my glow stick.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

New Recipe For Loser

While in exhile during my bee sting, I served up some Julie and Julia.


In the film, Julie is a sad sack about to turn thirty: she lives in Queens, works in an office, and has successful frenemies. She also has her own cubicle, an architect husband, and an imaginary friend who knows how to cook. I'm about to turn thirty and have none of these things.