Showing posts with label Get with the Program. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Get with the Program. Show all posts

Monday, April 23, 2012

Perez Pardoned

Today I learned a valuable lesson.

Play mean for a long time, then play nice, and you'll get to meet Oprah.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Sally's Smear Deal

Oprah may be over, but the reruns are still going strong. Today, Sally Jesse Raphael told Oprah she started wearing her red glasses because her doctor offered them on discount after performing a pap smear.

How can we move on without this hour of enlightenment?

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie

Many Romaniacs have been asking how I feel today, one month after the tragic death of The Oprah Winfrey Show.

It feels like the time Alanis released her second album, and I was the only one who bought it. Now that the fairweather viewers are out of the way, my love for Harpo shines brighter than ever.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year, Indeed!

On this, the first day of January, 2011, OWN launched with much fanfare and fervor. My remote doesn't go past channel 13, so I missed this historic event.

I might have to break down and become the worst cliche of all...a starving artist who has cable.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

O How I love G

Today was Part 2 of Oprah and Gayle's Camping Adventure.

Just when I think I cannot possibly adore Gayle more than I already do, she lays another golden nugget.

Gayle: 'I'm spoiled and I make no apologies for it.'

Oprah: 'I'm not spoiled.'

Gayle: 'Oh, Oprah, Please!'

Friday, October 15, 2010

October 14th O-Dog

Yesterday Oprah interviewed a Mormon family consisting of a husband and his four wives.

I'm all for polygamy, but if you go on Oprah to talk about the salacious details, pop by the gym first...or at least visit Supercuts.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

October 13th O-dog

Winfrey is stayin' alive in Season 25. Yesterday's show, titled 'Are You Normal?,' had the audience answering intimate questions and O-dog making dramatic proclamations.

"Everybody looks at their poop!"

"The next question is who has ever faked it, it should be who hasn't faked it!" - Oprah

If she keeps this up, she might dethrone Gayle from Hero of the Week!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Hero of the Week = Gayle

"Gayle says it's a standard for dating. If you go on a date with a guy and he says I think he's innocent...see you later."
- O-dog to Mark Fuhrman

Gayle only drinks Grapefruit, one more reason to heart her.

Monday, October 11, 2010

One Fuhrm Hairline

On today's Oprah, our girl interviews former LAPD detective Mark Fuhrman, and I must say I'm blown his steady hairline.

He should get a Rogaine infomercial.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Hero of the Week = Martha Stewart

Yesterday Martha made her first appearance on the Oprah Show in years. When Martha RSVPs to a party, she always arrives with a verbal jar of homemade honey.

(on being in West Virginia Prison)
"I'm stronger than I realized; I can survive without lemons."

"I had great visitors. Rosie O'Donnell visited me. I know you were too busy, Oprah."

"I had the best time; I made a whole nativity scene."

"That place was sparkling when I left."

O-dog: "Do you feel that you let yourself and other people down?"
Martha: "No. Because I didn't!" ...and she didn't again.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Ultimate Evidence

Since posting Look Who's Talking Now, I've received many requests from my Romaniacs to splay the O-dog ornaments. Martha Stewart (today's guest on Oprah) herself would dangle these bulbs proudly on her tree in the great room of her estate in Maine.

Exhibit A (O-dog)

Exhibit B (The #1 G.)

Exhibit C (Berky)

Exhibit D (Sophie)

Oprah may deny me a ticket to Australia, but I will not deny you my ultimate viewer evidence.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Monday the 13th!

The time has come; the final season of Oprah kicks off in less than 4 days time!

Ironically, I will be en route to Chicago during this monumental moment of American History. This wouldn't seem so tragic if I wasn't the last middle class man in this country without Tivo!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

May 11th O-Dog

Bieber Fever on O-dog; until today I thought the song 'Baby, Baby, Ohhh!' was sung by a black girl. How clueless I would be without this hour of education.

Saturday, April 3, 2010


Finally, a space for me to talk about
my two favorite subjects: Oprah and myself.
Julie Powell's got nothing on me.
- J.Ro