Showing posts with label Get Your Gay On. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Get Your Gay On. Show all posts

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Crush of the Month = Seacrest 2.0

Now that it's September, I need a new man to occupy my autumn. And I've found him; the new host of X Factor.

I should Google his name, but I'm too busy snapping photos of him on billboards.

With this man in town, I'm singing "Seacrest out."

Monday, August 22, 2011

Who's Her Tailor

Ellen's suits are so well cut, she makes Ryan Seacrest look Men's Wearhoused. Even J.Ro struggles to match her pinstripes.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Details Demographics

Dear Details,

All 440,841 of your subscribers are openly gay, isn't it time you join them? Till then, keep the Jon Hamm covers coming.


P.S. Tell me more about this free messenger bag.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Gay Twins

Of course, the minute I decide to grow stubble.

Lance Bass decides to do the same.

If we were boyfriends this might be cute, but we're not, so it's just irritating. Looks like my beard is going Bye, Bye, Bye.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Amos Not My Amiga

The worst thing about being gay is spam assuming you like Tori Amos.

Monday, July 11, 2011

I Feel Pretty

I recently went on a date with a guy who said "Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't attractive."

In his defense, up until this comment he was really handsome.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Tracy: Zero / Gays: One Hundred

It's been two full days since NY Senate passed same sex marriage; I'm still awaiting a "congrats" tweet from Mr. Morgan.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Pride, Then Hide.

The best part about Pride is it offers an excuse to blatantly stalk people.

I paparazzi-ed cute white guys.

Ab-alicious Asians.

And one frisky black man.

But when the bears came out to scavenge, this cub had to hibernate.

Probably for the best. My sexuality is something I can only celebrate for a few hours. I may be gay, but I still have laundry and facebook to attend to.

The Kids Are Not All Right

Yesterday was the Pride Parade in West Hollywood.

I'm all about LGBT families making their kids realize the importance of their gay heritage, but do children really need to see this?

I'm still perturbed, and my brain isn't nearly as sponge-like as the brain of that baby in the background.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Hot Tub Confessions

The new 24 Hour in West Hollywood has an outdoor hot tub. The scene looks just like the photo below, just supplant less attractive people.

On Wednesday, I jetted next to a guy who told me all about the $125 dollar vibrator he purchased for his female boss. Only in Los Angeles would this beckon promotion instead of lawsuit.

(guidepost photo deemed inappropriate)

At the end of our tub talk, he didn't ask for my Twitter address. I was upset; if he spends that much on his boss, can you imagine what he buys his boyfriend?

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Ladies Night

On Friday I experienced my first 'lesbian night' at a local gay bar. At first I was excited because for once I was one of the taller patrons in a crowded club. But then strange things ensued.

I started to get 'come hither' looks from girls who thought I was a girl, I started to give 'come hither' looks to girls I thought weren't girls. Then the fembot DJ screamed on the mic, Everyone Is Getting P***Y Tonight; I knew it was time for me to pack it up and put on my pj's.

I did see four girls who looked like Da Brat and one girl who looked like Precious, so the night wasn't a complete bust.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

In Heat Over a Tweet

Australian Olympic swimmer Stephanie Rice is in a hot sauna after tweeting 'Suck on that fa**ots" in response to Australia beating South Africa in a recent rugby match. Jaguar dumped her as their spokes-hottie and took away her complimentary sports coupe.

This confused me because she's a female swimmer, and I believe lesbians may appropriate the f-word as they deem fit.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Jumpin' Jack Jeans

An open letter to the gay patrons of 24 Hour Fitness, West Hollywood.

Stop wearing Lucky Brand jeans to work out, the whole point of going to the gym is to get lucky in the locker room. No more Newsie hats either (this rule should extend beyond the weight room to encompass all 24 hours of your daily life).

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Vote No on Prop Zoe

When Target was caught giving 150,000 to a Minnesota Republican Candidate who apposes gay marriage, the CEO was quick to retort, "Target's support for the LGBT community is unwavering!"

After my experience at the Bullseye today, I believe him. In electronics I discovered The Rachel Zoe Project Season 1 for $29.99. This DVD clearly caters to only one type of clientele.

Ironically, the LGBT demand for such a grotesque artifact got me thinking...maybe we shouldn't receive our civil rights just yet.