Showing posts with label Get Your Gay On. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Get Your Gay On. Show all posts

Friday, October 25, 2013

Man's Mail

I find this invitation equal parts emasculating and tempting.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Disgusting Karma

Us gays have no right to be angry at Paris Hilton. Everything she said about us, we said about her first.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Abbey Surprise (Part 1)

A few months ago The Abbey banned bridal parties from entering the bar with feather boas and penis straws.

But now there's nobody to buy me free drinks.

Abbey Surprise (Part 2)

Last week I met a guy at The Abbey who didn't know who Snooki was.

There still are some signs of intelligent life in West Hollywood.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Keith Avenue Heartache (Part 2)

Dear Bret Easton Ellis,

If Tommy Lee Jones is our image of real hetero, shouldn't Matt Bomer be our image of fantasy hetero? Even straight people deserve eye candy.

Fifty Shades Freed,


If anyone's hiring a research assistant to archive online images of Matt Bomer, I'm qualified.

Keith Avenue Heartache

Bret Easton Ellis was spat on outside the WeHo Pavilions last night after tweeting that Matt Bomer isn't right to play Christian Grey due to his status as an openly gay actor.

That's so unfair. I've tried to exchange bodily fluids in that parking lot for years. Guess I better tweet casting sanctions on Zachary Quinto.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Gay Garbage

The hard thing about being gay and an environmentalist is that the trash created from Pride leaves you wanting to commit a hate crime.

Proof of Pride

The problem with Pride is I never feel gay enough to belong, so this year I collected evidence to prove I'm rainbow deserving.

Exhibit A: When I text yay, my Blackberry autocorrects with gay.

Exhibit B: Texting the word yay.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Fumbling Towards Bestiality

On Friday night I attended an Ahmanson preview of War Horse, a love story about a precocious young man and his precious pony.

Or as the right-wing pundits paraphrase: a fable about the societal dangers if gay marriage becomes federally legalized.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Love! Valour! Jealousy!

To celebrate Pride, I finally watched Love! Valour! Compassion!

It left me longing to own a lake house, a tutu, and six bitchy friends.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Homeo & Juliet

New episode of my podcast with comedian Mary Patterson Broome features celebrity guest, Drew Droege.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Well Suited President

To celebrate Obama's endorsement of same sex marriage, I'm off to buy a new H&M suit.

Pray this endorsement doesn't lead Billy Graham to call for the systematic bombing of gay-friendly retail shops.

Carrie On

To assuage my sadness over Amendment One passing in North Carolina, I've commenced a Sex and the City marathon.

Pray the Amendment is repealed before I'm forced to watch the second movie.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Homeo & Juliet (new episode alert)

Listen to our latest podcast, featuring ex-Prince Charming, Hunter Fite.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Metro Messenger

I broke down and bought my first man bag.

It's a Dunlop, so when I'm feeling extra-masculine I can act like I'm using it to carry tennis balls.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

J.Ro Live

This past Thursday I performed for a crowd of twenty; my fan base is growing.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I Heart Rehearsal

Tower Heist director Brett Ratner has resigned from producing this year's Oscars after coining the slur, "rehearsal is for fags."

In his defense, the Tower Heist trailer seems so fagtastic I refuse to believe he's a bigot.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Konichiwa S8t Guys

Finding love in Japan was hard. Even more so than the States, Japan is full of straight men who appear gay.

They wear dolls on their backpacks.

They ride cute bicycles.

They ride cute bicycles with baskets holding man purses.

They wear Seacrestified suits.

And they dress up like girls.

Okay. This one may be gay, I'm not into costume play.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Homophobic Font

While making a new business card on Zazzle, I discovered this font.

I was offended, and decided to pick the font to show my LGBTQ pride.

But it made my name look too damn gay.