Friday, January 25, 2013

Smile Indeed

Why are wedding photographers always so hot?

Escape From Tehran

Can Alaska Airlines modernize this font? It's like we're in the final scene of Argo.

Lance's Star Spangled Savior: Part 1

Lance Armstrong owes Beyonce a bouquet of flowers, and they best not be carnations.

Lance's Star Spangled Savior: Part 2

Speaking of Beyonce, Soldier only has eighteen million hits; it should have at least sixty. Get with it, world.

Tattle Tale Triumph

If I had thirty months of free rent, I'd get so much writing done.

Burn Book

I'm still angry she beat me out for that role.

America's Next Top Copycat

Just when you think Naomi can't get any more competitive with Tyra...

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Better Than Liz & Dick

My therapist says it's 2013 and I must live in the present, but I still hope J.Lo and Diddy will find their way back together.

Miserable Mountain

The sexual chemistry between Jean Valjean and Javert was intense.

They put those boys from Brokeback to shame.

When Clinique SPF 15 Isn't Enough

Dear Romaniacs,

Since December 2nd I've suffered an ingrown hair on my neck. I have to apply foundation from a sample in O Magazine just to venture to Trader Joe's. Of course, this sample is for a black woman and does my skin little favors. This is not my usual shtick. This is serious. I'm starting to feel like a patient in And The Band Played On. Somebody help me.



Zero Dark Thirty-One

The bad news is AARP's targeting me.

The good news is I win this free tote to hold my medication.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Sexiest Men Alive

Gabriel Aubry, post Olivier Martinez, looks just like me, post bee sting. This basically makes me a model.