Wednesday, June 30, 2010

There's still something wrong with Esther.

It's been a year and I'm still haunted by Orphan Esther; the sight of her sneaking into my Netflix suggestion box made me shudder.

Please may there be no sequel; the billboards alone will put me back into hiding.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Douchey Apartment for Rent!

It's not enough to have the amenities: pool, spa, tennis court, gym, secured underground parking. Now the real players in the LA apartment scene have websites:
Never have I seen trust funds go to such waste.

The only apartment building in America that deserves a website is The Apthrop, and it's website only launched once the building went co-op two years ago.

Friday, June 25, 2010

X on the 24Hr. Armani

Please, don't wear Armani Exchange jeans to work out at 24 Hour Fitness, it's distracting and disconcerting. Save it for Robertson.

Monday, June 21, 2010

The Canopy Tells All

Last week Betty White made a boo boo when she accidentally outed Cary Grant on The Joy Behar Show. This type of behavior has been sprouting up everywhere as of late.

In April, Architectural Digest accidentally outed actor Gerard Butler when they posted photos of his Chelsea Loft, which contains a white canopy bed in the master suite.

check out the evidence by following this link:

JK-ing JA...but please assist your man with his Venetian look; make it more Veneto, less Vegas.

"Sun is in the Sky, oh Why oh Why Would I Wanna Be Anywhere Else?"

Yesterday I got to ruminating and realized Los Angeles is a lot like prison. If I ever leave I'll hold no tools to assimilate back into real America. I'd be like the old man in Shawshank Redemption , asking permission to use the restroom while cleaning the floors at Kroger.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

O.M.G mania

I find it slightly disturbing that we created electricity, cars, planes, and space shuttles...yet it took us until 2006 to truncate 'Oh My God' down to O.M.G? You'd think the Sleepless in Seattle girl woulda cracked the case back in 1993. What will we abbrev next?


Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Saints Marched In Con Brio!

Many followers expressed fears regarding my Piano 101 Final last week. I am proud to report that my performance was GAGA worthy. Below is Dr. Lepley grinning with her favorite pupil.

I smell an A sharp coming my way.

...Put Your Hands Down!

I thought after Glee's football field rendition, we had seen the last of 'Single Lady' spoofs. But alas, The Chipmunks Squeakquel and now Sex and the City 2 attempt to squeeze more juice from the joke.

Liza Minnelli takes on the song with gusto at Stanford's wedding; shame on you, Michael Patrick King. Stanny's nuptials did contain a lot of attractive extras, shame removed...temporarily.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Pretty Woman, Pretty Man

Being a waiter is a lot like being a prostitute... the middle of the act you're sweating and thinking 'I deserve better than this.' But at the end of the night, with two hundred in hand, you tell yourself, 'it wasn't too bad.'

Thursday, June 3, 2010 ?

I was a Maxxinista before that fake British chick in the commercials, but I'm not going to be your fan on Facebook, TJ. Well, I might consider it if you stop stocking Sean Jean circa 2006.

And Miracle Whip, though I approve of the new youthful logo, please remove yourself from Facebook also.