For everyone who has been unsupportive of my new Justin Bieber hair style, I have one thing to say.
You spend eight years being compared to Clay Aiken and see what lengths you'd take to resemble some other celebrity.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
In 1813, did Jane Austen realize how debilitating her novels would become for women and gay men in modern times, pondering why the guy we adore will not reciprocate accordingly?
Mr. Darcy alone has allowed us two hundred years of excusing another's unenthusiastic reactions to our advances. Even little Jane herself knew in 1813, whilst typing on her mac book, in non-fiction unenthusiastic reactions mean only one thing...he's just not that into you.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Dear United Airlines,
No, I do not want to be friends with you on Facebook. And if forced to pick a buddy to fly frisbee with, I'd chose Virgin America over you. Thanks for giving me the whole can of apple juice, but it's gonna take more for me to click 'accept.'
Monday, January 24, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
At my last stand up show, a girl in the audience claimed she made 20 New Year's resolutions. This is like having 20 protagonists in a film, it will probably turn out like Valentine's Day instead of Love Actually.
Thanks to this girl's delusions, I shortened my list.