Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Love Thy Neighbor

It's very disconcerting when you feel you're about to be held up at gunpoint on the corner outside of your building.

It's even more disconcerting to escape the potential assailant only to realize he lives in your building.

Hide Your Lebowski

Straight People,

Stop displaying your DVDs on bookshelves as if they're John Steinbeck novels. DVDs belong like a 12 year old gay boy growing up in Omaha: in the closet, covered by a J.Crew peacoat, with the door tightly closed.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Call Me Kennedy

Once a season, when feeling sad about being single, I watch a Nancy Meyer's film to remind myself that there are sixty year old women facing the same problems as I.

The architectural porn of Something's Gotta Give inspired me to paint my apartment to look like Diane's Hampton's bungalow.

Growing up in Tucson, I was allured by Sonoran Green, complimented by a Honey Nectar. The swatches decieved me, my walls looked like a Cabo vacation after mucho Margaritas.
(exhibit A - Cabo)

I quickly reapplied with a White Daisy and a color called Kennedy; if I can't have the Hampton's, I'll take the vineyard.
(exibit B - Kennedy)

This experience reminds me once more what a deity Mr. Nate Berkus is.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Malcolm Madness

Today my tennis buddy, Vanessa, who lives in a posh area of LA called Hancock Park, told me two mom's from her daughter's kindergarten class are making their kids repeat kindergarten ...not because they did poorly, but because they insist their children be the oldest in the class for the benefits (brain development, athleticism, ect.) Malcolm preaches in his bible.

White people are nuts.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Sharing the Machine

There are two types of people in this world, those who empty the lint after folding, and those who live in my building.

The day I finally obtain my own washing machine, I will feel like such a Stetson Cologne Ad stud. I'll try to refrain from brag blogging when it happens, but no promises.

Fashion Starts with Your Underwear

As promised, I'm following the footsteps of Madonna's 13 year old daughter, Lourdes, by guiding fashion sensibilities via my blog.

Recently a friend (who obviously has a crush on me) sent me unmentionables as a gift, and they are fantastic. I usually buy the run of the sweatshop H&M box briefs, but now I've made a PACT to change. (both men's and women's available!)

PACT comes in a biodegradable bag and offers 10% of it's profits to OCEANA; very TOMS of them. Patterns range from quasi-gay to uber-gay and the cotton is as organic as an Ojai Orange. This is no Fruit of the Loom my friends.

PC Pride

I shocked many Romaniacs in my latest blog ('If You Don't Know Me By Now...') when I released pictures of my 2002 IBM Thinkpad; friends call it my VCR. The judgment other Angelenos display when I admit to not owning a Mac Book Pro is palpable. In this town, the only thing more embarrassing is not having an iPhone.

Guilty of both, and I have zero credit card debt to highlight my inadequacy.