Showing posts with label Lower Your Expectations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lower Your Expectations. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Barry Bonds for Jose Canseco

Yesterday in Santa Monica, I saw a bungalow up for sale or trade.


Houses are not baseball cards. To find two people who love each other's homes and both agree to discard their own for the other's sounds like a fantasy HGTV couldn't even fulfill.

Monday, July 11, 2011

White Teeth


These Crest 3D White Strips better work.


Because spending thirty minutes a day looking like this is not good for anybody's confidence.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Resolution Delusion


At my last stand up show, a girl in the audience claimed she made 20 New Year's resolutions. This is like having 20 protagonists in a film, it will probably turn out like Valentine's Day instead of Love Actually.

Thanks to this girl's delusions, I shortened my list.