Showing posts with label Americana. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Americana. Show all posts

Monday, June 3, 2013

Rosa Barks



Sad how many people are focusing their energy on gay marriage when Ryan Gosling's dog still can't ride Amtrack.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

We Need To Talk About Angus


Until America has gun control, Angus T. Jones should go through a metal detector before heading to make-up.


If I were Jaime Pressly, I'd request hazard pay.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

30 Sexy Years


Claudia Schiffer's Guess ad on Sunset Boulevard makes me feel bad about my body... and I'm not even a woman.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Disturbia


Now that the election's over, let's do the work that really matters. Like figuring out if Rihanna and Chris Brown are back together?

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Office Approved


Say what you will about Paul Ryan, but you can't deny he'd make a great bobblehead.

Diva With A Dialect


Minaj's threats towards Mariah would be so much more entertaining if Nicki spoke English.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

You Can't Step in the Same Lake Twice

I worry for Ricki's new show.


American culture has devolved so much since the nineties, her brand of talk may prove too classy for the current demographic.

Friday, September 21, 2012

iCreep 5

Today, normal people can rest assured Apple people are locked up in malls where they belong.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Voters Stay Informed

Peru was fun. But with the elections less than two months away, going abroad is not worth missing every beat of news.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Competing Funhouses


Tonight I must choose between watching Barack Obama or Pink.


Being a Democrat who likes music videos is a challenge.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Puts the DAMN in the DNL


"Being President doesn't change who you are," but it does sculpt your wife's shoulders to the point where gay male convention attendees question their homosexuality.

Friday, August 31, 2012

169 Days of Gropping


In New Jersey, perps get one hundred and sixty more lives than cats. If given a proper make over, he might resemble James Brolin.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Juice Is Loose


Armstrong denial is to white people what O. J. denial is to minorities.

Cake Without Candles


Don't remember us celebrating this birthday when he was alive?

Friday, August 17, 2012

Dreamgirls: The Sequel


Even if Sparkle isn't good, we must agree to act like it is.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Models Inc.

My sister in law says I should audition.


Not that I'm model material, but next to Drew Carey, I might be able to fool the audience.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

August: Orange County

Pardon the laissez faire attitude towards my blog as of late, I was busy schmoozing with celebrities on a Disney Cruise.







Minnie got so attached she looked into my eyes and sang Call Me Maybe during the farewell show.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Careless People


If my life were The Great Gatsby, Hollywood would be the Valley of Ashes and the Spa Luce girl would be Dr. T.J. Eckleberg.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Triple Threat


I'm equal parts intimidated by her bank account, blonde locks, and sheer stage presence.