Thursday, December 13, 2012

Get Schooled

Check out the phenomenon that is The Katydid's Teachers Webseries.

"Fairy Tales is the best sketch of all time." -J.Ro

"Seal's Face is the second best sketch of all time." -J.Ro

Stories I Only Read In Private

Now that my first quarter at UCLA is over, let the guilty-pleasure reading begin.

R.I.P Golden Boy

(His final PCH drive. Point Mugu, November 21, 2012)

On Tuesday, November 27, 2012, my 1998 Champagne Sebring convertible, known by many as The Golden Boy, took his last breath. Always having a flair for the dramatic, he decided to bow out in the left hand lane of the 10 freeway, a half mile west of the Staples Center, at 2:32pm. At least four thousand cars attended his brief wake, before the police booted him into skid row.

Ever the stalwart, The Golden Boy protected myself and the people I loved as we ventured to Key West, the Outter Banks, West Virginia, the West Village, Chicago, Sedona, Miami, Tucson, Vegas, San Francisco, and beyond to Stinson Beach. Because of him, I was able to experience so much beauty.

He and I shared many adventures. My favorite being the move out to Los Angeles in the summer of 2004, when I thought for sure he and I'd be abducted by aliens when we passed a ten story white cement cross lit up at three a.m., two hours outside Amarillo.

Like all romances, we had our troubles. When his trunk refused to stay ajar I had to warn everyone not to use it, fearing they'd be decapitated. Towards the end, he didn't like taking turns, or stopping, or retaining oil, or unlocking from the driver's side door. But he was my guy.

Made in Detroit (though God forbid I'd ever drive him there),


                    (Cruising to Gaga on Mulholland Drive, December 2011)

(Overlooking Malibu on Christmas Day, 2007)

(Off to celebrate my Dad's 60th Birthday in Vegas, 2010)

(By The Lion King hyenas, Korea Town 2009)

(Jenny P driving him across the Golden Gate, 2010)

(With Ballse and Kitty Kat in Rancho Palos Verdes, 2010)

(Our final photo. Midas of Beverly Hills, December 1, 2012)

Get Your Homeo On

Sports and poker announcer extraordinaire, David Tuchman, joins J.Ro & MP to discuss racist jokes, eHarmony, and beating up Brandon Walsh.

Creepy Single Men Unite

Want to know who the sexual offenders are in your neighborhood? Attend the midnight showing of this movie.

30 Sexy Years

Claudia Schiffer's Guess ad on Sunset Boulevard makes me feel bad about my body... and I'm not even a woman.

Runaway Rolex

Only in LA would people offer rewards for things that aren't living.

The New Queen of Comedy?

Judd Apatow's Vanity Fair Comedy Issue is so brilliant, I'll forgive him placing Megan Fox on the cover.

If I were editing, I would of chosen Channing Tatum.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Get Your Homeo On

The divalicious Lady Haha, Shawn Pelofsky, joins J.Ro & MP to discuss Barbra, Atlantis gay cruises and performing for the troops.

Lincoln's Bedroom

I thought Lincoln was about the thirteenth amendment. It's actually about a father's inappropriate relationship with his youngest son.

Crazy For Keira

Tolstoy joins Matt Weiner to become the only two writers to inspire a Banana Republic clothing line.

Sad he didn't live to witness this triumph.

Uggly Marketing

The translation of this billboard reads, Uggs: not just for gay men.

IMAX Amendment

Lincoln was good, but would have been better in 3D.

Especially Tommy Lee Jones and that wig.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The Next Election

After imitating Magic Mike with effortless abs on SNL, this title should go to Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Channing being a close second, of course.


Now that the election's over, let's do the work that really matters. Like figuring out if Rihanna and Chris Brown are back together?

Tuesday, November 6, 2012


This is what happens if you vote Romney in West Hollywood.

Vote No On Prop Pin

Will candidates stop wearing American flag pins? You're running for president, isn't that patriotic enough?

Congratulations From J.Ro

I've never felt so happy for people I'm only best friends with in my imagination.

Wait, I take that back.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Move Over, Adele

Who are Mumford and Sons and how are they selling out two nights at The Hollywood Bowl?

Too Christian For Me


I'm all for S & M, but even E.L. James would call this overkill.

Office Approved

Say what you will about Paul Ryan, but you can't deny he'd make a great bobblehead.

Diva With A Dialect

Minaj's threats towards Mariah would be so much more entertaining if Nicki spoke English.

Catwalk Crazy

This is why I'm glad I'm not successful enough to date models.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

You Can't Step in the Same Lake Twice

I worry for Ricki's new show.

American culture has devolved so much since the nineties, her brand of talk may prove too classy for the current demographic.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Chasing Waterfalls

With this on the air, I will officially accomplish nothing.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Disgusting Karma

Us gays have no right to be angry at Paris Hilton. Everything she said about us, we said about her first.

Missing Match

I hate to use this platform for sartorial concerns, but if I've slept over recently will you check to see if I left the match to this sock?

I can't stand to see perfectly good argyle go to waste.

iCreep 5

Today, normal people can rest assured Apple people are locked up in malls where they belong.

The Other Pair Goes to Tom

With photos like these in every shoe store across the country, Tom must get more ass than early nineties Bill Clinton.